The thing about listening which escapes most people is that they think of it as a passive activity.
Not true, good listeners regard what they do as a highly active process – with every muscle engaged, especially the brain.
There are three things that all good listeners do:
Think before you speak
Listening requires active engagement, starting with the decision to keep our mouths shut.
It’s about recognising that speaking and listening cannot coexist. Especially in emotionally charged moments, the choice to refrain from speaking is an active one, challenging our impulse to react. Telling our brain and mouth not to speak is as crucial as directing them to do so
Listen with respect
Merely keeping our ears open isn’t enough; genuine listening demands full engagement. It’s about demonstrating our commitment to understanding by locking into the speaker’s words entirely.
Respectful listening isn’t just about hearing; it’s about valuing the speaker’s perspective and accommodating their voice.
Is it worth it?
Before responding, we must ask ourselves a crucial question: Is it worth it?
Often, we’re composing our reply while pretending to listen, risking misinterpretation or inappropriate reactions.
By pondering the worth of our response, we anticipate the impact on the speaker and craft more thoughtful interactions. This proactive approach considers the other person’s feelings, fostering empathy and respect.
To master the art of listening, practice these tactics:
- Listen attentively without interrupting.
- Avoid completing the other person’s sentences.
- Refrain from saying “I knew that.”
- Instead of agreeing, express gratitude.
- Minimise the use of negations like “no,” “but,” and “however.”
- Stay focused and avoid distractions.
- Pose intelligent questions to deepen understanding.
- Prioritise understanding over impressing others with wit or intelligence.
Conclusion
Effective listening goes beyond passive reception; it’s an active process that requires deliberate engagement and empathy.
By thinking before speaking, listening with respect, and considering the worth of our responses, we enhance communication and nurture meaningful connections.
